Bittersweet

Went to the Big Band Concert at the MAC with Sarah and Nathan tonight.... wow. This is the second time I've had an emotional response to trumpet playing since first giving it up. Earlier in the year, we went to see a Mahler concert... and I realized that I will NEVER fulfill my once passionate goal of playing Mahler in an orchestra. That was sad to realize... but tonight I actually teared up about 3 or 4 times during the jazz concert. It was really surprising how much it affected me... considering I tend to be completely void of emotions (ok.. not completely true).

Its funny.. I haven't really played Jazz since high school.. but that was when I was the most passionate about trumpet. Singing wasn't even in the picture. There is something about the interaction of a jazz combo or instrumental ensemble in general that I really miss. As much as I love singing (even more than I loved playing trumpet) and know that it is the right path for me.... I still miss playing the trumpet.

My babies (my C trumpet "purple diamond ring" and my Bb trumpet "Yoda Flounder") are sitting in their case, right next to my desk and I'm actually scared that if I try to play again (its been a year since I've played) i won't remember or have the chops to actually produce a good sound. Although, the last time I played was a random friday night at olaf, it had been about a year then since I had played, and I whipped out the Arutunian trumpet concerto decently well... I hope that can still happen.

What an amazing night... and weekend in general. Lots of good conversations, beautiful weather, wonderful friends, and surviving the craziness of the stupid, drunk frat guys. This concert tonight really topped it off, even as emotional as I got. It brought back some amazing memories and just the realization of how blessed I've been with opportunities. There was also some crazy good jazz singing going on tonight, which reminded me of the amazing musical arena I'm in now... wow.. I had forgotten how much I LOVE jazz and MISS swing dancing. If there had been a dance floor... I would have been up there!

Wow... life is amazing. This is my conclusion.