So,
I've been trying to figure out why BBC Period Film men are so... darn... attractive, beyond the tall, manly statures, amazing accents, and perfect sense of style (seriously.. those fashions need to come back... mmmmhhhmmm). As I'm watching North and South for the... hm... 6th or 7th time, I'm thinking about Mr. Thornton, Mr. Darcy, Mr. Wentworth, Co. Brandon, and Mr. Ferrars. What makes these men so remarkable? I use to think that these films were girl porn, so to speak. I figured they give us unrealistic expectations of men, by showing us men that have never and will never exist placed in utterly romantic situations. However, I've recently changed my mind.
As you look through these men, you see a major similarity: their character. They have great integrity, dignity, selflessness, honesty, and genuine kindness. Whats so unrealistic about that? Even beyond that, each of these men have major flaws (which is what makes them similar to real men). Darcy is not only proud, but can come off as a jerk. Mr. Thornton has a temper and is a bit of a mamma's boy. Wentworth is stubborn and won't, for a time, let his pride and bitterness down to see that they are still in love. Co. Brandon is... well... old? I guess he doesn't have any glaring flaws except that he isn't uber romantic like Willoughby (which is a good thing... in my book). Edward Ferrars is kinda a pansy, to be honest (at least the Hugh Grant version is). And while he isn't particularly dishonest, he also has too much propriety to tell the whole truth.. which would have saved some heartache for poor Elinore.
Its encouraging that all these men are actually pretty darn real. Maybe if women watched MORE bbc films and expected their flawed, human men to have real, gentlemanly character and not put up with any less, men would stop being able to get away with being pompous, self-serving, jerks. OR... women could figure out that there ARE men out there with these characteristics, and stop going for the smooth jerks (aka Willoughbys, Mr. Elliots, and Wickhams).
Hm... I'll have to continue my BBC Men research... and hope that there is a Mr. Thornton somewhere out there for me!
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haha. excellent! when you get back to bloomington we'll have to watch north and south since i've never seen it.
ReplyDeleteNow...if only it were realistic to think that men might start wearing those sorts of clothes again. Aaah! I get really mad at people who say chivalry is dead. Why can't chivalry and equality co-exist? Women should be chivalrous too, right? I miss hanging out where we could discuss these things at length.
ReplyDeleteI miss you too! how about this... all the women who think chivalry gets in the way of their equal rights can have the guys who decide they don't need to be gentlemen to get a girl... and the other guys can be left to us ladies who like gentlemen... yes? then everyone is happy!
ReplyDeleteDoes "equal rights" mean you must open your own doors to be equal? Does it mean you must order your own food? Does it mean you must pour your own drinks, pull out your own chairs? Does it mean that men should stay seated when you approach or depart from the dinner table? Does it mean that men should avoid political and religious conversation in your presence and save it for the cigar and brandy room?
ReplyDeleteWhere are the divisions between chivalry and equality?
I think its less about the actions (opening doors, pulling out seats, etc... although I do like that stuff too)... and more about the general character of men. They are faithful, respectful, selfless, caring, and actually do treat the women like intellectual equals (or at least go for the ladies who assert their own intellect). ya gotta just watch the movies to see what I'm talking about. compare Darcy to Wickham (pride and prejudice), Brandon to Willoughby (sense and sensibility), and Wentworth to Elliot (persuasion). And just watch Thornton (north and south)... there aren't any particular jerks in that one. I feel like alot of guys today feel they can be the bad guys and still get the good girls.... interesting.
ReplyDeleteI will agree with the "bad guy" "good girl" comment. It sucks when we expect our men to be promiscuous and our women to pure. Why can't we expect both to be pure?
ReplyDeleteAs far as your movie references, they're lost on me. Except for Thornton, I've seen North and South, but I thought that, while yes, he did have a soft spot for the female protagonist (don't remember her name), my impression was that he was portrayed as a greedy selfish factory owner who expected near slave labor from the townspeople. How is he an example of manhood? Is it just because he would intellectually engage the lady?
I'm adding North and South to my summer reading list, and would love to join you for the movie when you get back.
ReplyDeletedude... you have to watch it again. He was the one who cared about his workers. Especially at the end when he created a employee food program of sorts. He was a shroud business man, but he also wouldn't speculate because of the risk to everyone (not just himself). He was the only "master" who would honestly converse with his workers and brought himself to their level. Granted, he learned much of this through the movie... but I think he's a rather upstanding business man.. especially in comparison to the others portrayed. He also worked himself up to where he is... nothing was handed to him. He came from extreme poverty and worked to support the women in his life.
ReplyDeleteAND... he's just wonderful.
Ah, ok. This part I can appreciate. Maybe I will have to watch it again, I remember a transformation in response to a woman's affections, but from my end, it looked as though the workers were pawns in his persuit of her. It's been a while since I've seen it, but because it's available through streaming video on Netflix, I'll have to watch it again.
ReplyDeleteLaura, I love what you said about chivalry being less about actions and more about overall character. Yes!
ReplyDeleteI'd imagine Wickham probably opened doors but he's a shallow weasel compared to Darcy.
Also, I think it's really good in your post that you pointed out that these men that we "fall for" in movies still have their flaws. We're not looking for the perfect guy, just a genuine one, among other things.
I know I left a comment on this note on Facebook, but I just wanted to again say how glad I am that you wrote this!
ReplyDeleteAs far as the division of chivalry and equality, I don't think that one gets in the way of the other. Chivalry is showing respect for a woman because she is a woman, equality is showing respect because she is a human being. And both should be there.