We were talking about Romans 7: 14-25 tonight in Connexion... and the last part of 7:25 really stood out to me: "So then, I myself in my mind am a slave to God's law, but in the sinful nature a slave to the law of sin". This sums me up perfectly.
There are so many times I feel that my mind, no... definitely NOT my mind, my... hm... intentions? are the only part of me thats "Christian". I feel that I can talk a big talk and have all the good intentions in the world.. but continually fill my life with selfishness, arrogance, judgment, and sin in general.
Its funny... I feel that I flit between the two... One day I can't pin point specific sins I'm struggling with and other days I cannot do anything right... all of my motivations are wrong. These are the days when I feel that I'm pretending to be a Christian. Its a horrible feeling.
One thing that was said tonight that really helps is "if you are 'struggling' with sin.... its a sign that you are a Christian". If I wasn't a Christian... I wouldn't really care about my sin. It is also clear, from Romans, that God is the one who can change my evil nature... not me. and ONLY him.
This brings up a few more thoughts. One: pointing out others sins (and trying to pass laws against them) is pointless when the heart does not include God. If only God can change our sinful nature, who are we to decide that others should be able to change theirs? Here is where I can get very judgmental too. When I see people who live for things that are not tempting/attractive to me, I assume it would be simple for them to stop... since it would be for me. But I forget that the things I struggle with are just as bad... if not worse, because they tend to be hidden from the general public. How dare I judge them.
Also, this whole human nature thing. Why did God create us bent towards sin? even children.... so innocent.. why are they so selfish from the get go... the whole "I want that toy... because Johnny has it.. .even though its been sitting next to me all day... I want it NOW". It seems odd that God would create us so imperfectly... or that the perfection he made could be so easily distorted... even before we understand right and wrong. Was it part of the fall? our culture? spiritual warfare? What is really deep inside human nature? a desire to do wrong... or a desire to find God which can manifest itself in finding/doing the wrong things? (ok.. this may be a new subject in and of itself).
Things to ponder... thoughts?
So... I can just pray that God works to get rid of the hypocrisy in my life and has the grace to give me insight into myself and others.
I am sorry I judge you... whoever is reading this. I'm sure I've done it at some point. Please forgive me.
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You know, this is an interesting topic. But let me suggest this. Actions performed with innocent intention are innocent actions. Think back to Adam and Eve in the garden of Eden... prefall. Their nudity was innocent. It wasn't until that whole fruit from the tree of the KNOWLEDGE of good and evil that their nudity became a problem. Make sense? It wasn't until they understood the action as being wrong that it became wrong.
ReplyDeleteHowever, there is a Grave Error on the horizon if this is misunderstood. It sounds an awful lot like I'm moving toward a relative morality... this is not the case at all! Knowledge is Black and White, either you understand an action to be right/wrong, or you do not-- you cannot be sort of pregnant. In light of that, one cannot say, "oh, I didn't know that I was not supposed to take that toy" if, in fact, he knew that it was wrong to take it.
With the children, if the child knows the action is wrong, then it is the responsibility of the parents to enforce that rule. Spare the rod, spoil the child. If the child does not know the action to be right or wrong, it is the responsibility of the parents to teach that child the moral quality of the action.
I hope this makes sense... I can see this topic developing into a dissertation on the broader social implications of early childhood moral education and discipline... this however is not a topic I wish to dive so deeply into at such an hour. sorry.